Adoption. Reality. Awareness.

Did you know that November is National Adoption Awareness month? Before I started my journey to adopt, I had no idea. I don’t remember growing up and hearing people talk about it, preach about it, etc. We, as a Christian people, have failed in our mission laid out for us in James 1:27. We are called to help the widow and the orphan. Do you and your family do anything special the month of November to celebrate and help the orphan? If so, what do you do? How have you used this months awareness to show your children the beauty and the need of adoption?

This month it is my goal to write several short posts about the joys and the trials of adoption. I want to use this platform to help those of you who take the time to follow my blog, understand more deeply what adoption means and is. We have probably all seen the videos of “gotcha days,” on youtube or facebook. The truth is there is so much more to adoption than what  you see in those beautiful moments.

The first thing I want to raise awareness to is that for the adoptive family and child, this has been a LONG TIME COMING! They have spent countless days and hours signing papers, sending fee payments, getting psych evals done (which are a journey in and of itself!), defending their call to adopt, worrying about why things keep going wrong around them, etc. Let me tell you, Satan HATES adoption! So those of us in the depths of this journey know all about the “adoption curse.” But love prevails and in the end of these struggles, our kiddos do come home!

While adoption is a wonderful gift and blessing for all involved, it is also a huge trauma and loss. Every child belongs in a family, especially their birth family if at all right and possible. When it is not, adoption is a beautiful thing. But with that comes the weight of that childs (ren) loss. I ask you to keep that in mind when friends/family are bringing children home to their forever families.

There will be many beautiful moments of bonding and loving. Moments of learning how to be loved. So often our kiddos come from a place where they receive little affection or an inappropriate kind of affection. All of the loss these kiddos have experienced affect them. Think about it, these strangers suddenly show up one day and call themselves mommy and/or daddy. They remove that child from the one place they see or know as home, where they belong.

There is great loss for a child when they are adopted. I am only learning as I go here, but I have witnessed this with many close friends and their kiddos. Again, adoption is a wonderful thing! I am just asking you to be aware that underneath the joy and excitement of finally coming home, there is a level where only time and love can create a bond that will be lasting and effective. These kiddos have to learn what it is to have a mommy and daddy. They have to learn that they are always going to be there. These kids need the space and time to see that mommy and daddy are here for good, they don’t come and go as the adult volunteers may have at their orphanage.

In the adoption world, we call this period of time, “cocooning.” If you want to read about it, this is a good article to read: Cocooning-Lifeline Article. Basically, it is a time for adoption families to settle down at home and learn the new normal. It is a time for the new little one to learn what it means to have parents. It’s a time set aside from the chaos of life, for the family to learn each other more. This period does look different for each family. Some don’t even feel a need to withdraw for a period, while others may take weeks or even months, to step away and be alone together. This is generally a period where friends and family don’t come over to visit, they wouldn’t go to any big gatherings or events, etc.

While it may be hard for friends/relatives to accept or understand, I encourage you to research it. Come to understand it. Follow it. Let these little ones learn to depend solely on their new parents. While you would be excited to meet and bond with this new family member, you have to realize that the parents have sometimes spent years to get to this point. They’ve spent years looking at a photo or video of a child they call their own, and now they need the time alone to make that a reality. Don’t worry, you will have your time to get to know them, they are family now!

Again, I am only learning these things as I go. I have been reading and researching for over two years on this topic alone. I am sure once my little is here it will be made even more real to me. So, I may not word everything 100% accurately or my view may be different once my little is here, but at least it may help you to start looking at adoption in its entirety. That is my hope. I hope through my pondering that I am able to spark and desire to raise awareness for adoption and how we can each play our part.


Blessings to you and yours!




Emmanuel is coming….


Friends! Thank you! Due to lots and lots of hard work and generous donations from wonderful friends and family…we have worked so hard to get SOOOO close to the $3,000 home study fee that is due in January. Last I checked, we are only $800 (maybe a little less than that) away from being funded for the first big home study fee. I just paid a $1600 deposit yesterday, and had three medical tests done in the past week too (covered by my income and insurance). Praise God! And thank you for your willingness to help the needy. It is so appreciated. I don’t have enough words to convey my gratitude.

As the holiest of seasons rolls around, we Byzantine’s are in a fast period called the Nativity Fast. As I have been fasting and praying to prepare my heart for the birth of the Christ Child, I cannot help but ponder if this will be the last Christmas morning that my little one’s heart experiences, without a mothers love. Everything about the Christmas season screams “Family!,” yet millions of orphans languish and continue their hearts fast…waiting to be found. Waiting to know they are loved. They were chosen. They are home.

One of the books I like to read, throughout the liturgical year, is called, “The Year of the Grace of Our Lord.” How fitting is that! The title of my funds raised page is “God’s Graces.” Also, this is the year, God willing, that a little girl will be found and brought from great darkness into light. As I was reading the opening pages for advent, I was struck by the irony of the books title, but also this quote:

The East has seen Advent…as a time of awaiting the light which will shine forth. The Celebration of Jesus’ birth coincides with the victory of light over darkness in the physical world—from Christmas on, daylight lengthens. In the same way, our interior darkness will be dispelled by the coming of him who is the Light of the World.”

What hope fills my heart at reading these lines! Christ’s light; even as a wee babe, wrapped up in pieces of cloth lying in a manger in a barn/cave, shines ever brightly. In the same way, my mother’s heart is searching for my baby’s light. Where is she? What is she seeking this night? Does she know of the Father’s love…and that Christ is coming to be born in a mere manger…yet He is the Savior of the world?!

When I was a nun a priest friend once gave a homily, during the Advent season. He spoke of making our hearts a manger. How we needed to take the season of Advent to rid our “cave,” of dirty and unwanted things and prepare a resting place for the infant Christ Child to inhabit. I will always cherish that homily. It made Advent tangible for me. The image of my heart being a cave for a child to seek shelter and refuge in is one that resonates. What does your cave look like? Have you, “Cleaned house,” so to speak? Have you prepared your manger bed with fresh and soft hay for Him to rest His tiny head upon?

Please join me for the duration of this advent season, as we spend time with our families doing holiday traditions, in praying for the heart of my baby. Pray that she is filled with the light of the Christ Child on Christmas morning, and not the ache to be loved by a mother. My own heart will eternally feel that ache, but I at least have had the great gift of celebrating many Christmas mornings with mothers’ who have stepped into that role in my life. I am so blessed with love. I am so blessed with faith. Pray, with me, that my little one is about to spend her very last Christmas alone!

Thank you again for those who pray and those who donated towards this beautiful journey. Every penny gets me one step closer to embracing a little one with the arms of a mother…sometimes being the first time they’ve ever known that embrace. Can you imagine! You are helping to bring about and amazing thing!

May God bless you this season of preparation.

May the Angels’ be  your guardians,’ and the Saints’ your friends! +


I have a public adoption page on facebook where I update on funds raised and needed, advancements made, etc. :

Talitha Koum Adoption!


For those who wish to still help, you can donate to my personal paypal:

Jacqui’s Paypal

You can also send money via apple pay or snail mail (email for my phone number or address!)



Also, once my home study is completed, I will be opening a tax deductible donation page. This would be a great opportunity for those who own a business or wish to donate as an individual and receive a tax deduction too! (It won’t start until next tax year!)